There have been some oddball talent casting calls over the years, such as (and these are real): “Do you have a cat from hell?,” “Racist neighbors,” “Asians annoyed with racist neighbors,” or “Wanted: toothless tattoo removal junkies.” Pretty normal, really. But then, there are some real doozies. I promise to add to this section as they come up.

This one really stood out (and made my day) today:

Casting Notice
Project Name: People who can Squirt Milk from Eye
Project Type: Television
Rate/Compensation: TBD
Message:
Role Role Type Gender/Age/Ethnicities Description/Note
People who can Squirt Milk from the Eye Featured Male or Female / 18 to 80 / All Ethnicities If you can squirt milk out of your eye, we want to hear from you! When did you discover you could do this? What’s your Milk Squirt range?

Is this a thing? Squirting milk from one’s eye? I’m missing the good life if it is.

This was my other favorite one from last month. The description alone makes me want to BE – not be in, but BE – this music video:

Casting Notice
Project Name: Big Mother Music Video
Project Type: Music Video
Rate/Compensation: $100
Message:
Role Role Type Gender/Age/Ethnicities Description/Note
Big Mother Principal Female / 28 to 40 / All Ethnicities Big Mother is a single mother with a 9 year old boy. She smokes Eve Light 120’s cigarettes and reads romance novels. When her son gets a new pair of boxing gloves, she let’s him practice by sparring with her butt.

Spar with my butt. Yes. Let’s.

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